Fragile Bonds

Some say Covalent Bond is the weakest, but I am convinced bonds of friendship these days with some people are the weakest

“I don’t owe you anything”
“I never asked you to do all this”
“Why keep expectations”
I am sure that at some stage of your life, you may have been on the receiving end of such statements. If you were the one who said this to anyone, you are automatically on my hate list. These words not only act like killer blows but also as a nail in the coffin for bonds that once seemed impossible to break. Yet, with time, the strong bond, which is initially like a gigantic iceberg in the Atlantic, starts to melt. Bit by bit, the same thing that led to even Titanic ending up on the floor of the ocean, becomes an inseparable part of the ocean itself.
The problem with our generation is that we do not understand how to deal with the relationships we may have formed. I know, it may sound weird, but somewhere between the ages, we lost the courtesy and empathy that are needed to keep forged bonds in their beautiful manner. Everyone you meet and entrust to be a part of your closest circle leaves an impression on your mind that lasts way too long to be erased with ease. Regardless of the way things may have concluded, there are instances in your daily life when little things, be it songs, food, clothes, or even places remind you of them. You miss them. Yet, when you ponder over how the relationship deteriorated, you may have regrets/anger associated with that particular person.
Care is fundamental for every relationship. Without care, one would have a very hollow and brittle friendship. In my opinion, you cannot even claim to be friends with someone unless you care for them. You do owe them. Where you were wrong, you owe them an apology and an explanation. Where they made life easier for you, your actions need to show that if they face any challenge later, you would be there to return the favor. Although it is such a small thing that makes the whole world prettier, care and empathy remain neglected by large portions of society. Generally, people are more self-centered and chase their dreams and aspirations, brushing aside the ability to come to aid those who need help. But again, do we follow society and the masses when dealing with people who are close to the heart? Out of billions of people on this planet, you selected the handful of people who are constants. Why would you not care for them and look after their well-being? And even if we do end up doing favors as we care for them, the nack of later bringing that up or flexing over that makes you a very pathetic friend.
Similarly, the need for reminding others that they are an important part of their life is also paramount. But, that gets neglected very often. Especially with the ones we consider “low maintenance”. Some people assess their place in the lives of others, and often, when taken for granted, tend to feel unimportant. Once that begins, it leads to a spiral, where one concludes that the other no longer needs your company and tends to fade away. Personally, I confess I am one of those who occupy myself with such thoughts when I feel I am no longer a part of someone’s life and can vouch that the feeling hurts. You try to hold on, but then feel you are debasing yourself by trying to be where you are not valued. Then, with a heavy heart, you start phasing out of their life even though you still care too much about the one you are parting ways with. Those around you are well aware of your personality. How you express yourself. You don’t need grand gestures and give a reminder every day as the other person knows who you are and accepted you for that. But little reminders such as providing life updates, and asking how their day went by, definitely help.
Apart from the obvious ones, understanding is a pivotal notion in each relationship. The beauty in having someone whom you can frankly tell that you are not feeling like talking or communicating your concerns remains understated. There are days when you are just not in the mood to do anything. Moments where you know you cannot be there for someone as you are occupied by your personal life too. In those moments, you wish to convey it to the other, hoping that they do understand, rather than making a meal out of it. Even when one ends up fighting with someone they are close to, the need for elaborating your concerns while understanding the perspective of the other is the only way you can further cement your bond. When you fully grasp the other side of the story and know why they adopted such measures, only then you can not only ensure such instances do not occur again but also improve yourself.
You see things falling apart, but what do you do? Approach the other person and ask straightforwardly? No, that would sort the whole issue, but rather, play guessing games and hope the other person comes forward with a request. As absurd as it may sound, this does happen. Your texting style, manner of talking, and statuses on social media depict that you are offended by someone and want them to ask. Why not simply confront or ask straightforwardly the one who caused all this? The answer, and the bone of contention, is a three-letter word. EGO! There is this unnecessary assumption that being the first to ask or point out something like that is a sign of weakness??!!! Who decided that? You have a right to be hurt or offended when something bothers you and can be the first to point that out. It is not a matter of ego to pretend you are all fine and resist the urge to reach out.
To conclude, there is a need to reinforce the idea that you should try and do justice to the relationships you have surrounded yourself. Regardless of how they pan out, one should have the basic courtesy to communicate your side, but also have respect. Even if things go sour, at least you would have the satisfaction that you tried your best and would not remain occupied with thoughts on where you could have improved. Maybe things would not have led to this if such measures were adopted then?