Friends are Horcruxes
The long bouts of boredom, sitting together in silence, the slow drip of miseries and rare moments of achievements are what friendship is all about
As a kid, I found the idea of Horcruxs from Harry Potter fairly fascinating, with my imaginative mind thinking of places to store my Horcrux and the objects I was to trust as a part of my life. Trust me, I kept smiling for a week after deciding to place my Horcrux, my 3-foot-tall Garfield, right in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. Genius, wasn’t it? Not sure why people have stopped asking questions about that place. Sorry, best not to give new ideas for the world to mess up again.
The week was full of reflecting on life and battling my way through silent wars happening in my head. It is January and we must stay strong. Won’t lie, but it was one bad week. I won’t spill the beans on that bit, but it did make me realise the one thing I remained oblivious to for quite a while. IT WAS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF MY EYES, YET I NEVER REALISED. A part of our soul lies with our closest friends, with each one of them holding the key to a different trait, hobby or personality. Ultimately, you do have Horcruxes. But unlike Voldemort who had no friends (he probably wouldn’t have found the time to do all his evil things if he had 2–3 good friends), rather than storing life, your horcruxes are gateways to a unique version of yourself, alien to the rest. Idly standing next to the wall, ignoring the impending tasks, the concept had intrigued my largely inactive brain. It had been a while since we thought of anything that didn’t lead to a negative outcome. A sense of excitement arose, as I found examples to prove the crazy thought that emerged in my head. Kind of think of it, don’t we have specific people we run to in different situations?
Voldemort went out of his way to plan, create and store his Horcruxes. Unlike him, our horcruxes (friends) happen to have arrived in the most unexpected events. Unplanned, not thought through and not forced. One does not look at someone and murmur “Okay, I will make him my close friend for years to come” at first glance. Friends just show up out of nowhere. One day you meet them, and the next thing you realise, you can name a bunch when you come across those social media posts where they say, “Friends who lasted more than 5 years are family”. I always tell my mom that I cannot make friends. Shy, introverted and carries a serious face which makes Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog look friendlier.
However, surprisingly, I do manage to find friends. Not just any friends but those who are better than me. Intelligence? Looks? Riches? The secret lies in them being better humans, showing kindness in instances where one would not expect it. And these people are the ones you should aspire to become.
“You have so many friends. You would be fine if you lost one or two.”
“You love solitude and are never afraid of staying alone so you won’t miss anyone”
I hear these sentences quite often. And to some extent, they may be true. Even back at LUMS, I would be found eating lunch alone at peace or silently walking through campus, with no one nearby. I am sure the latter statement would make you think I am a loner with no social circle, but that is not true. Whenever a Horcrux is destroyed in the Harry Potter series, Voldemort is seen in antagonising pain, suffering with the loss. While I won’t jump to the extreme that the farewell of friends kills you literally, there is pain. It does not come in one brutal hit but rather is like a slow poison. From being a priority, one sees a demotion, lowering the status, with the bond becoming weaker. Personally, this part remains the most hurtful, as from sharing information the other would never need in life, the two become strangers while pretending the bond remains unwavering. Then comes the next stage where the impending doom is nearby, and you mentally prepare yourself. Quite frankly, having spent 1/4th of a century now, there has been only one instance in my life where the bond rekindled despite me throwing the towel. And finally, the last stage. Friend Divorce…
Now that I think of it, the idea to resume writing on my Medium account also emerged because of a friend. A couple of weeks ago, I was being trolled for even writing tweets like a journalist or a government official. I mean, I would love to be a government officer one day or be a journalist, but at that moment, it was the highest insult to my Twitter career and could explain why I no longer get engagement on X. But then again, that friend is a gateway to dreaming, positive attitude, striving for greatness and making an effort to improve.
Friendships can hurt. They can disappoint. But in that fleeting moment, when you look back at it, the effort was worth it. It never is about grand gestures or doing the extraordinary. The long bouts of boredom, sitting together in silence, the slow drip of miseries and rare moments of achievements are what friendship is all about. You need to waste a lot of time doing nothing with someone for friendship. The bond is the honour and privilege of being present at the lows of someone while knowing they will be there when you fall as everyone’s there at the highs, but few are entrusted with dismal moments.
