Manhoos or Magical?
The Teacher Assistant handed us the quiz. An unexpected one because in the previous class we had a quiz too. Seated on the far left end of the auditorium, we were eagerly waiting for Sir Baqar to announce the start the timer so we could turn the page and determine how miserably we were to fail the test. With the clock striking Eleven O’clock, Sir Baqar announced, “You have five minutes to complete this assignment. Do not look around for help and good luck on acing this one”. Before the beginning of every quiz, I am fond of eccentric habits. While whispering prayers and words of motivation, reminding myself why I am the best, I slowly grabbed the paper from one side and flipped it, reciting all the childhood Surahs taught by my mummy for better exam attempt as I finally started reading the five questions on the page.
A minute after the quiz began, I turned my neck towards Aamna, only to realize even she had no clue what to do. The thing with Baqar’s quizzes is that he tests you on the topics that you are yet to study in class. So if you haven’t read the fifty pages of assigned primary text, you’re basically a soldier going to war without a weapon. Next, I looked at my left and the seat I saved for Monum was still unoccupied. Realizing that he still hasn’t arrived in class, I asked Aamna, “Yar Aaj Monum nay class main nahi aana?” She replied, “Utha to Hua tha when I texted an hour ago”. This was strange as, unlike day-scholars, he couldn’t be late coming to campus or even get caught in traffic since he lived in the on-campus hostel. Was he planning to skip this class? No, that’s so unlike him! Should I somehow reach for the phone in my pocket and call him?
While my mind was caught wondering over such thoughts, simultaneously thinking about the possible answers regarding Al-Ghazali, Avicenna, and Averroes, the door at the back of the auditorium creaked open. I hated that door as personally, I had earlier crashed into it several times, creating major distractions in the class while feeling flustered accompanied by having red cheeks. As the door opened, the whole class turned their heads to take a look at the student who had the audacity to be nearly three minutes late in a five minutes quiz. Sleeves rolled halfway up till the elbows, a typical pink striped shirt, wavy hair, carrying tea in one hand, and SOOPER biscuits in the other, it was none other than our friend Abdul Monum making a grand entrance. Completely unaware that we were having a quiz, he instantly expressed a blank face to grasp the situation ahead and immediately rushed towards the center to grab a copy of the test and began scribbling down the answers. With time running out, it was time to focus on my paper and I began to brainstorm the answers, eventually preferring to take a wild guess for the answers, losing all hope of a decent score.
Eventually, we handed over our answers to the Teacher Assistant and waited for the five-minute break in the class to gather around and discuss how the quiz went.
Aamna: Mera to pakka zero hay
Me: Same
Aamna: Saray tukkay maar kar ayi hoon
Me: OMG SAME!
Monum: Is main mushkil kya ha? Even I didn’t do the reading but if you look properly and start noting down your options with proper time…..wasn’t that hard. Like I am not even sure if I have a single right but achay ki dua Kar Raha hoon.
With a sense of confusion, Aamna and I exchanged stares after hearing Monum talk in such a manner. However, we didn’t pay much heed to it as we believed it was his mere assumption and it is better to wait till the results are out before arguing over such issues.
“Collect your quizzes from here after the class”, announced the TA as Sir Baqar started debating on what we should be doing in our next class. Since the queue for collecting the results is usually fairly long, overcrowded and a mess, we had a rule that one person would collect for all three of us. Grabbing hold of the pile, my eyes started scanning for familiar names while assessing the general scores of the class. Unsurprisingly, almost every second paper had a ZERO written in red at the very top. For some reason, seeing so many pathetic scores gave me a glimmer of hope as the class ‘MEAN’ would be fairly low. Later, I started finding our quizzes. Firstly, I found my own, and the realization that I was better off than the rest with a 2/5, lowered my anxiety. Next, I came across Aamna’s and unfortunately she played a role in lowering the mean but my inner consciousness said, “Don’t worry N-1” to myself. Does anyone recall the legendary dialogue of the movie “3 Idiots” where the friends claim that finding out your friend topped the class is more saddening than seeing them fail? Well, I had to recheck the name several times before being sure as Monum had a perfect paper with full marks. If I wasn’t aware of his habit of speaking the truth and being honest, I wouldn’t have stopped myself from labeling him as a “snake”-the most commonly used term for the super-geniuses who lie over the amount of preparation they have for tests and quizzes.
Maybe my face depicted my puzzlement as Monum instantly started elaborating on ways to ace a paper even if you have no clue what the answers are. After this particular incident, it is fairly important to move on to the Statistics and Data Analysis (commonly known as SDA) course. Since Monum was an engineering student, we never really had an opportunity to take a common course before even though we’re friends since the O-week of LUMS. Since the very first day of SDA, we assumed a rivalry between *us* from HSS (Faaiz, Safa, Aamna, Hasaan) and *them* from SSE (Monum, Shaphar, Ashir). Captain America Civil War vibe? Friends with one another but a sense of rivalry? It was actually really funny! With Miss writing questions on the board, we would start our teamwork, working together to come up with the answers. After several wrong attempts, we managed to eventually answer them correctly, earning the teacher’s appreciation. With the first part done, it was time to show-off. With a sense of arrogance, we would stare back at the backbenches to let our friends from SSE know we’re done. However, before we could begin our flamboyance, Monum would just lift his notebook and show they were done with the question ages ago and were waiting for us to complete it. We would later take our fight to the breakfast session at PDC where Safa and I would boost how we’ll show them who’s better followed by very unenthusiastic support from Aamna and Hasaan (pretty sure they wanted to switch sides but were stuck with us).
However, with time “Manhoos Monum” (his O-week name) acted as our unpaid teacher, helping us wherever we lagged or had weak concepts. Whether it was the lab sessions, practice questions or the quiz mistakes, Monum’s unpaid academy was always open for his friends, helping them eventually ace the course with exceptional grades (something which seemed to be nothing less than an unaccomplished dream after the first quiz)
While our “professor” may be the smartest academically, it is such a joy fooling him on the cricket field. Whenever he goes out to bat (since he is one of the best players in Ferra Nova), the first two balls have to be ferociously fast. It’s a treat that very few ever get to have! With Monum rattled and expecting the remaining balls to be bowled even faster, the following balls are off-cutters or back-of-the-hand deliveries, getting the better of Monum whose midway through his shot by the time the ball even lands on the pitch. MONUM I THINK THAT’S THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I’LL BE BETTER THAN YOU! Even he knows I do this intentionally but the best part is that he doesn’t mind this and continues to be baffled (shots fired).
Not every single student in a class is gifted with the same intellect level, with some of us having to work harder to achieve desirable results. In such circumstances, the habit of getting angry or jealous of someone’s GPA or grades is very low and toxic for your health. Rather than mumbling over their better grades, it is even more important to observe their traits that lead to better results. Maybe they study less but their concentration level is better? Maybe they revise every day and do not feel like investing hours at the very last moment? Their exam solving technique and ability to bear stress is better than you? And if you are blessed with an amazing intellect by God, rather than feeling insecure and believing that sharing your tips would make you lose your grades, it is time to start acknowledging that helping someone only helps you improve. Knowledge is something that cannot be stolen from you and sharing your ideas would only pave way for better discussions in which your intellect may evolve too. Monum you selected a wrong nickname during O-week. You are “Magical Monum!”
To many more “deekhi jayay gi”, cricket banter, and possibly same classes!
