Met My Online Friend
After knowing someone online, the transition to meeting in-person is always daunting for introverts
Would the heart accept anyone new after all it has been? The things it has been through, can it cope with another risk? Can I even call it a risk? Can it bear the repetition of the same cycle? The cycle left scars that are not visible to the naked eye but felt with an emptiness that one cannot seem to heal despite the positivity around him. But then again, wounds heal, scars fade! Despite all this wave of sadness and a pessimistic approach, here I am, sitting at a table with two people I had not thought for a second would end up as my friends.
If you know Faaiz Gilani properly, you would realize that when he agrees that we should meet soon but does not give a time, it is his evasive policy to ensure we don’t meet. As bitter as it may sound, but the prospect of meeting someone you are not familiar with is somewhat daunting. Why? Being a firm believer of quantity over quality, I would rather end up with a small social circle with happiness in the time I spend rather than being popular with no one who understands me at a personal level. Frankly, it is the other side that has to put in an effort to befriend or get to know as I would keep on avoiding people with my never-ending overthinking and social awkwardness that gets the better of me at times.
As the class ended, intrigued by a couple of theories, I stayed back a while as my professor tried answering my never-ending questions. Strange how on other days, I leave my queries aside and jump as soon as sir announces that we are free to go with the hope that I would remember asking the questions in the upcoming lecture. Packed my bag, slowly marched towards the door, putting an effort to drag my feet across the carpeted floor, reaching out for the cold doorknob. With a step outside the classroom, I saw a familiar face from the corner of my eyes. “What are you doing here? Class ended ten minutes ago”, I asked with a sense of puzzlement. I was left red-faced after hearing his reply, “Ummm you said that we could meet on Tuesday after class?” That particular moment, a part of me wanted to climb to the top of SDSB and scream “I AM AN IDIOT” at the top of my lungs, but we left the embarrassment for someday later after realizing I DID tell my internet friend that we should meet then.
Wow! He did come to meet. I was not expecting that. Not that I wasn’t glad to meet, it was more of astonishment as someone remembered and invested time to meet? I know the bar is too low when it comes to making me happy. So what’s next? Faaiz brisk walking, twice his regular pace only to be stopped when the other person pointed it out. The extraordinary pace, while descending the staircase, was mainly due to the clouded thoughts in my mind. He had imagined one day meeting his friend but what he did not think was what to talk about once the two meet. The person walking alongside was not aware of the diverse traits Faaiz possessed.
Proper punctuations, grammar accompanied with a super formal articulation of texts were the way I had been interacting with the friend whom I had befriended online during the quarantine. As absurd as it may sound, the distance I gained with the faster steps was meant to help me decide whether the friend deserved to know the real me or the formal me which masked all the different traits I fondly relished. Would the first interaction be suitable for the real side? I mean it could probably shatter the image one had of me.
Leap of faith! It was time to trust others rather than faking with those who wanted to know you! Finally, after arriving at the ground floor of SDSB, I spotted one of my closest friends and realized it is the perfect opportunity. We went, greeted that friend, and had quite a long conversation and the best thing about having close friends who are wholesome is the way they welcome other people, making them feel a part of the circle. Mere fifteen minutes were enough to get through the initial awkwardness, as my other friend and I described my life. The triggers that get me angry to my habit of story-telling with some added spice to the various other incidents where we made fond memories.
The three at the table had continued talking until a couple of them realized they had to be somewhere else. Our half-an-hour conversation ended on a high note as we all agreed to meet later! In life, we come across many people, and some gain closure while others remain distant. Some of us indeed remain skeptical of whom to befriend owing to experiences of the past where some friendships did not turn out to be the way they promised. Rather than closing all doors for possible future friendships, one should not try examining others with the same lens as those who did you bad. The closure of one door paves way for numerous more to begin. So whenever you have someone who you think is worth keeping in life, you should be true to yourself and them, establishing a bond with no masks of fakeness or formalities that are untrue to you, keeping you in a state of disarray. In an age of deceiving people, there still exist humans who radiate wholesomeness and positivity, making you feel better about yourself. So live life to the fullest and take a leap of faith every once in a while.
