Oh, I am cursed after all
In sheer frustration, the eyes move towards the moon, in a bid to seek a direction for what lies ahead
With a sense of frustration, a timid Faaiz looked up in the sky, asking why is this even happening? The glance towards the full moon, as the only source of light in the darkness that prevailed (load-shedding is back), was a cry for help. Despite the best efforts, I could not break this one habit or get over it regardless of how badly my mind fixated on it. Always believed that with determination and strong willpower, even mountains can be climbed. But was this something more difficult than summiting a snow-capped peak? In truth, it wasn’t even difficult at all, but the reliance on it for everyday affairs merely made the “little” dilemma, become a bone of contention that required immediate action. At the end of the day, all I ever wanted was to have a check and control over the amount of time I spend on my mobile phone.
“I am going to do this job with my full concentration”
Pretty sure you may have heard the sentence stated above very often. I mean, one uses this sentence to highlight the intensity with what you are doing a specific task. But, ask yourself, nowadays, is this phrase really applicable? Are you really working with your maximum focus? Is it not true that you are one notification away from leaving your task and grabbing your phone? The bitter truth is that when you used to be younger, your attention span used to be greater than what it is today, and at times you wish you could regain that level of focus you once took for granted.
With the rapid growth of social media forums, there is little scope for successfully eluding the whole system in itself. Often, when I am suddenly motivated to reduce my social media app usage, a specific platform that I use the most faces a ban in my mental space. There is a vow to not open that particular app, but the attempt turns out to be futile in the long run. However, does that restriction lead to more productivity? The time saved from casually surfing that app does not translate into leisure or productive time. It does not change anything significantly. However, one suddenly realizes why other apps that you once ignored are so lucrative and fun to explore. Consequently, you get fond of the new road you discovered. At the end of the day, from distancing yourself from one app, you end up being addicted to two. You only made matters worse for yourself.
To sum it up, social media is designed in a manner that makes you consume more of it as it feeds the interests you may have. If you try distancing yourself from it, there is this unexplainable hesitation in your body that keeps on persuading, like a murmur or whisper, your mind suddenly reaches out and grabs your phone. Regardless of the determination to support the cause of breaking free from this “curse” of being addicted to your mobile phone and the world that exists inside of it, you are spell-bounded to suddenly jump, run and grab the little piece of machinery that has become a constant in your life. With a sly grin, realizing my helplessness, I murmured to myself, “Oh, you indeed are cursed” as I extended my arm to grab the “Focus-killer” resting on the side table.
