PSYCHO-logist
Sara Hussain is a young Pakistani, pursuing her dream of working as a Psychologist in the near future after she completes her degree from her university.
Alphonso Davies sent Semedo for a hotdog as he dribbled past the Portuguese, entering the Barcelona box and with the aid of his fancy footwork and illustrious passing range, located the Bayern full-back, Kimmich, who slotted it past the enraged Ter Stegan for the 5th Bayern goal for the night. All hopes for a possible comeback went down the drain as Barca faced the mammoth task of undoing a three-goal deficit with less than half an hour left. I had seen enough for the night as a dejected Faaiz switched off his television and began concentrating on other matters at hand. One of those was his difficulty to understand the behavior of one of his friends and despite his regular brainstorming, the lad was unable to arrive at a solid conclusion which was bothering him.
Luckily for him, one of his friends, Sara Hussain, who’s on the verge of becoming a Psychologist once she’s done with her education was online and Faaiz believed that it was the right time to ask her for some assistance.
Why did I never ask for their help before?
In Pakistan, there’s a general enigma associated with seeking help from psychologists and most of the stereotypes aren’t the faults of psychologists themselves. Firstly, anyone who has studied psychology in A or O Level becomes a self-proclaimed psychologist who ends up passing judgments, which usually backfires to such an extent that the trust of the person coming up with the problem ends up losing their interest and trust from external help. If someone tells them about an issue with someone from the opposite gender, the first and most solid judgment they end up passing is “crush on you”, which spoils the whole situation. There’s a very famous phrase in Urdu that can summarize my point, “Neem Hakeem Khatra-e-Jaan, Neem Mullah Khatra-e-Eeman” which translates literally, “half-doctor is a danger to your life and half-priest poses danger to your faith”.
Furthermore, at a personal level, my experience with the instructor during a psychology course was tormenting where the Psychologist Instructor manipulated me to such an extent using his psychology techniques that I ended up with a ‘C’ grade despite my initial enthusiasm to learn that particular course. Unsurprisingly, that one instructor was enough to make me conclude that all psychologists need help themselves which was fairly rude on my part.
Finally, even in movies and dramas, the role of psychologists is fairly suspicious and does not convey the proper image of people associated with these professions. The first psychologist whom I got to know was Dr. Harleen Quinzel, from the Batman series, who went from an esteemed doctor to a psychotic killer known by the name “Harly Quinn”. She was involved in a romantic relationship with the Joker himself and her love for him drove her insane. A similar trend can be observed in the series called “YOU” where the psychologist takes advantage of his patient and gets involved in a sexual relationship with Joe Goldberg’s girlfriend. I hardly remember any series or movies where a psychologist plays a pivotal role in correcting the mistakes people had earlier committed.
So what made me change my opinion?
The decision to ask Sara was a no-brainer. She is perhaps the only one from my friend list who’s on the path to take psychology as her future bread and butter. Moreover, she knows me from the last 4 or 5 years and the idea of speaking your heart out to someone familiar with your personality is fairly simpler with fewer layers of formalities attached. Similarly, she had been sending me some personality tests for her surveys which added to the pros of asking her as those surveys must have made her understand my personality to a better extent. Plus, I don’t think I will be meeting her anytime soon which serves as an added advantage. Finally, she did tell me that I have her permission to approach her if I ever need help which serves as a major morale booster as you know someone is willing to listen.
How did it go?
Initially, she wasn’t much pleased with the idea of her providing me with a character assessment. But once I started talking about my friend and how easily she gets triggered after assuming scenarios, the former Deputy Head Girl of LGS Paragon brought out her A-Game. Her initial assessment of someone whom she had never met or seen was so spot-on that even I was amazed that how does she know such things? Motivated with the encouraging response, it was fairly easier to continue talking about the issue as I bombarded the chat with numerous screenshots of different incidents which she analyzed after a deep thought process and provided extensive solutions for helping me further solidify my bond of friendship with the person who I was talking about. This chat was more intriguing as years ago, I was slightly scared/intimidated by Sara herself due to her hardcore personality yet today, and she was empathizing, offering sympathies and even talking about herself. Not sure if most would agree, but when personal anecdotes are introduced in conversations or lectures, the idea becomes fairly easier to digest as you realize that someone else also went through similar phases and now are bossing the world after much improvement.
The level of focus she invested in minor details was unprecedented as she could read things that were invisible to me. While shedding light on the dilemma I had presented to her, she didn’t shy from pointing out my mistakes as well which requires a lot of courage as it is easier to criticize a stranger than correcting your friend. To further validate this comment, I would like to refer to the stand Neville Longbottom took against Harry and Co where he was widely praised by most, and Dumbledore even rewarded his bravery with bonus points for Gryffindor. You see, everyone has a stance or belief which determines the way they act. Sara brilliantly pointed out my flaw that I tend to act apologetic just to avoid a possible confrontation or backlash from the other side even if I am not wrong. Such behavior leads to a toxic environment where the other side can always blame you for their shortcomings and mask their flaws with the firm belief that they were never wrong (since you even apologized).
Her stance on a proper communication channel is worth sharing as she believed that most problems can be solved if both parties tend to open up on their issues, things that trigger their responses and the expectations you have as most of the time, people tend to assume stuff and read within texts to derive hidden meanings that may have never existed. And after comparing it with the situations I have been through, I just stood there in admiration as the synthesis she derived may just solve most of the issues.
Finally, I always believed that talking to someone would be equivalent to talking to a wall or a mechanized robot who, without any emotions, tells you stuff which you already know. Reality proved to be miles off from my expectations as here, the psychologists were treating you like a friend and even acting like a friend. I got to know facts about her that I may have never imagined (I swear never), she helped me get over some pre-established notions as well as talked frankly about how to address the concerns I was bothered with.
Any cons?
Ummmmmmmmm…..you need patience?
Conclusion:-
The problem that I had taken to the psychologist wasn’t a sinister one and hardly would’ve mattered as I was accustomed to the behavior of the person whom I was referring to. However, this opportunity granted me first-hand experience of meeting someone qualified for this field and I was honestly impressed with the way it panned out. All of the worries and concerns I had towards speaking out my thoughts and spilling the beans were calmly addressed and it proved that they are worthy of talking to.
Mental health and wellness is a major concern of the modern era, one that we tend to suppress as the society does not want us to show signs of weaknesses. As a male in my early twenties, I know many people who are disturbed and depressed to the core, with even suicidal thoughts but won’t speak out as they are scared of being labeled as ‘weak’ and ‘emotional’. Somehow people even manage to find a connection between money and happiness and reply, “You have all the luxuries, so why are you depressed?” You see once we break the stereotypical approach of our society and the enigma associated with seeking help, we would have a more productive, happy, and prosperous nation. As Sara, herself said, “It’s better to address a problem at the initial stage before it piles up and erupts in the most unforeseen manner”.
With all that being said, I would like to wish Sara Hussain luck for her future, and may she continue to help people who are unguided and depressed with their lives.
