Scared of Dreaming??? So am I…
“I should have never thought of it in the first place…this is nothing less than a burden”
Every other day, the little thing in our head processes hundreds of ideas that vary from being possible, realistic, unrealistic, and impossible. It depends on our own selves whether we wish to further ponder over the ideas barging through or do we discard them like the useless newspaper. The reason for quoting newspapers here is that in Desi households, being read for mere information remains the secondary task of a newspaper. Primary, being used for cleaning, spread in cupboards, or used to soak excessive oil from fried food. Newspaper, being loaded with information related to current affairs, is overlooked for the potential it has to offer. Similarly, the ideas that spring in our heads are scrapped, without being properly thought over.
Am I wrong? Can you recall the last time your mind came up with creative ideas and decided to give them a chance? Or when you had the sudden urge to fix something with a spontaneous suggestion from your brain? Not sure about others, but the bitter truth is that at times I am too scared to try the extravagant things suggested. And as I grow older, the frequency of such ideas even surfacing in my mind has significantly reduced. Consciousness is overpowered by modern-day ideas of practicality, capitalism, and acceptability by society. With Faaiz moving to Senior School from Middle School, the same teachers who suggested thinking outside the box would confine you within the requirements of the curriculum and norms of society.
The situation may have improved at the university where Professors ask you to consider empathy, global citizenship, and social welfare, prompting you to rediscover your ideas that got buried somewhere. Even with a welcoming environment, the fear of trying something different overlaps with the urge to do something different, and suddenly you find yourself at a cross-path yet again. Does one fear being judged? Or is it the fear of failing? While the former would never come to a halt with people questioning your actions at every moment, you can never be sure about the latter unless you give it a go. The leap of faith needs to be embraced with open arms as, without the risk of failure, one would find their ideas irrelevant. At times, the mere urge to prove that you won’t fail, fuels a fire inside you to do better. However, even if you do fall, is that the end-point? Every event leads to an experience that you can use for further enhancing your skill-sets for the future, learning from your failure, and in the long run, making you a better version of yourself.
The world, however, is a cruel place. Daily, you would come across people who punch you with facts and label you as an idiot for even thinking outside the box. If you remain determined even after their initial jibes, their determination to prove you wrong would only increase, with them considering it a matter of their ego to put you down once and for all. Next, pretending to be critics who may have mastered the particular field, they do not shy from pointing out flaws in your ideas, hoping to achieve a sense of validation by proving you wrong. Constructive Criticism is always welcome but you can differentiate between that and mere insults. At that point, your soul feels shattered. Broken! Self-doubt re-emerges from the shadows. The effort for the thought process and determination feels unnecessary at that point, a waste of time. You wish to quit. God knows, at four different instances, I vowed to even end my writing venture after the backlash it invited. However, on any fortunate day, you are reunited with HOPE! In my opinion, hope is your friendliest foe as just when you think it is time to call it a day with a situation getting out of hand, it compels you to glance at the work you are wishing to abandon. That last glance (that, fortunately, does not end up being the last ever), serves as a game-changing move. While your eyes are fixated on the unfinished work, the brain looks beyond the work at hand but recalls the reasons for initiating it. The efforts you already put into it. The way you acted as a shield in front of many as they judged you for what you were doing but accepted taunts just for the sake of it. You remember that you began it as YOU WANTED IT. The opinions of x,y, and z remain as irrelevant as the police force in Gotham City.
With my friends thinking that I can help make a change in this world coupled with my mom’s suggestion that Faaiz has a heart that is meant to improve the living of people, the lad typing all of this essay is confused to the point he has lost his ideas. The same brain, which once was like a stream, flowing with ideas, finds itself dried out. The burden of expectations alongside the doubts over his future has stressed out his creative side. God knows when I would suddenly find the pathway to making a difference, but till that moment, it is an everyday struggle to wait for my brain to come up with audacious ideas and me trying to implement them regardless of how the world perceives them.
