The Unsaid Goodbyes!

Goodbye!!!???? While the literal meaning of the word ‘goodbye’ is to express good wishes when parting or used at the end of a conversation, do we even get to say it to everyone? When it all comes crashing down, do we even realize that it is over, despite the unwavering bond of friendship and devotion for each other? I mean surely you may have fought before, thinking that they did cross some limits, but at that point, a part inside told you it’s customary and soon you will be back to what it was before, right? The fights may be extreme with brutal remarks shared between the two, indulged in an appalling argument but when everyone calmed down, the two parties searched for ways to restart their conversations by sending relatable memes or even tagging on Facebook. While making it up to the other person, they realize the other person is invaluable, their mere existence proving to be a source of happiness in a life full of gloomy and unfavorable circumstances. You imagine that if you ever were to part ways, it had to be something extreme, so bad that the ‘crime’ had to be unforgivable or too gruesome for pardoning. But it never really was that, right? When the time came, all they needed was an excuse to make strides away from you. That is the point where you begin to think “after all I have done, this happened?” Do you get a friendly reminder that no one asked you to make someone your priority? No one asked for it? You did it on your behalf, your inner-consciousness told you to do it as their happiness and comfort give you satisfaction which logic couldn’t explain. While you complain about some of their actions, believing they are humiliating for you, inviting a fierce response from the accused who may label you for being whiny and too possessive, one day the other person stops caring and doesn’t even give a damn even if ages pass or see you with someone else, someone whom you despised. At an earlier stage, you may have speeches ready to eagerly tell, a point comes in life when you cannot think of a sentence to say once done with the formal greetings. You ask yourself how it even got to such a bitter ending. You try recalling and your mind only recalls the peak of your friendship. The time where it was all ‘just perfect’, something that seems to be an illusion at this stage but your brain cells do remind you the fantasy was once real. However, the same cells cause a stir in your head by flooding your cerebrum with questions related to your level of persistence, dedication, and attempt to keep hold of what was falling apart. You were silent! They were silent! Never had a confrontation? What if that would’ve changed things? How about a third-person to settle your dispute? But wait, you didn’t trust others as people were already determined to see the end of your ties. Especially the two-faced ones, that life taught were the ‘real enemies’. You kept waiting for an attempt from the other side, believing that one day maybe they will approach with a sincere apology, where you will explain your frustration and everything would be back to the way it was previously. But that day never came, did it? Every day, you checked your mobile, looking for a specific notification but faced disappointment at the very end. Every night, before going to sleep, you inspire yourself with renewed false hope, desperate to somehow form a weak link leading to a potential truce.

When people say time is the greatest healer, you realize they are right as with time, your mind starts eliminating the parts of your memory you don’t want to see again (learned in psychology), new faces replacing the old ones with new friendships to compensate for your loss. You laugh, enjoy, and cherish your time once again but unconsciously you still reimagine your past mates in the same place and even wonder if they also miss your absence? With that said, you vow not to repeat your mistakes and speculate the outcome of having one proper goodbye when your relations were at a peak so you had a signal that from there onwards, it’ll only go down and even get to tell the other all the things you wanted to say (both good and bad).

Would end it with the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H)

“If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.’”