“You cannot keep watering dead flowers”
Some days ago, I heard a friend say that I am the kind of person who will give my all once invested in something. Strangely, I was aware of this trait, but hearing it from someone else twitched a nerve or two. If it had been a passion or hobby under discussion, a gleaming smile would have followed. Unfortunately, that was not the topic of debate.
On certain occasions, their behaviour is enough to signal the urgent need to minimise expectations and lower the bar. After repeated disappointments, there comes a time when the heart locks itself and shields itself from impeding damage stemming from the term “expectation”. They never fooled me. My naivety and innocence made them greater than who they were.
Over time, the same love transitions into a resentment that emerges out of the blue. I had once read in a book that people fall out from loving something for the same reason they developed a passion in the first place. Yes, the façade shatters, and ugliness replaces beauty. To imagine that the brain functions in a way that the favourites turn into the last choice is truly fascinating, and as years go by, I can tell that this does happen!
This hollow pain in the heart can not be explained. The intangible pain that wreaks havoc. To have your mood ruined over entities who may not even care about your peace is indeed stupid and devotion at the same time. What is even worse is that there have been numerous instances where I threw the towel. Promised not to look back. But still, here I was, glued in front of the TV, watching eleven men ruin my holidays with a performance that warrants a public apology. But then again, I do not remember a change in behaviour or apology for the repeated mistakes that go a long way.
I don’t know how much more pain I can bear. Only time will tell if this love for the Pakistan Cricket team will persist or if I will turn into another soul that stops believing in something they were whole-heartedly invested in. At the end of the day, Jimmy Neesham will remain legendary for saying, “Kids, don't take up the sport. Take up baking or something. Die at 60 really fat and happy."
They say you need to disassociate and evade once a situation gets toxic, but it has been the same cycle since I last recall.
“You cannot keep watering dead flowers”, but Nasser Hussain said, “One minute down, next minute up”
Only time will tell if PCT will do a K.O. blow for all the fans on Sunday or pull off a miracle. The funny thing is that both are equally possible.
